Comments by Gilruin
These are the 10 posts of 226 by Gilruin.
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"an Elven hymn to Elbereth Gilthoniel" Into quenya
Great work! A couple of notes though:
Fána fáwë! Fána fáwë! A liquistëa heri!
fáwa is a word from very early in Tolkien’s life, later he uses losse pretty consistently.
A tári han i andúnë aireni!
aireni was likely replaced by †aire, pl. *airi “sea” and †airon, pl. *airondi “ocean”, and the modern equivalents ear, earon.
Ámen calë i ramyammë hí
This is the order “shine for us”, the original has the mere statement “light for us”, which would be cala men. The latest ending for “we” is -lme, -mme was at some point the regular suffix for “we” but was later revised to the dual “I and someone else” (Are you using Quetin i lambe Eldaiva, because it teaches the paradigm before this revision?). “Here” is sís/sisse/sinome, I”m not sure whether khĭn- as a conception survives.
Imíca i amba rembinë aldarion!
Amba means “up(wards), more”, “world” is ambar. The plural of alda is aldar, genitive aldaron, no need for an addidtional -i-.
Elentári! A Varda!
Semantically Gilthoniel “Star-kindler” is closer to Tintalle “kindeler” than Elentári.
Liquistië nát henduly' ar súlelya calima!
Usually the number suffix comes after the possessive suffixes: má → marya → maryat “her two hands”, so hen → hendelya → hendelyat.
Fána fáwë! Fána fáwë! Lirimmë len
fáwe and -mme again. Le, dative len is “you (plural)”, since Varda is only a single person, it should be lye, lyen.
Haiya nóressë han i airen.
airen again.
A elen' i anarvalta yénessë
-valta is a very early word, later we have -enca with the same sense. Since Anar has the stem Anár-, I would compound it as anárenca. Note that yén is an Elvish “long year (144 years)”, a seasonal year would be loa, locative loasse.
As calima má senen rérë nér,
I find as “with” somewhat problematic because AS > ar “and”, I would suggest ó.
Vailimë salquenórissë sí calimë ar liquistië
There is some evidence that when a noun is declined into a case, the adjective was doesn’t agree in number, so vailima salquenórissen.
Cenimmë telepta almalya hlápula!
-mme again. Hlápula is attested in Marcirya, but inn the PE22 paradigm it would be hlapuila, it’s up to you which paradigm you use.
Renimm' en, me 'n harë
-mme again. I don’t think en captures “still” well, I would suggest sinna, tensi. For me + i + hare I would suggest m’ i hare, since hare doesn’t start with a vowel to trigger i → in. “We, who dwell” is plural so I would suggest hare >> harir
Ilmalya i andúnë airenissë.
airen again, adjective agreement again, so andúna airissen. With the example elen síla lúmenna and caita mornie i falmalinnar, I would also consider the allative airinnar
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Computer Name? 💻
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Eldamo
Eldamo should look like this, it's a very simple design:
It's a static website, so you can't create an account there or anything. You can acsess it at
eldamo.orgorpfstrack.github.io/eldamoor you can download it here.
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Contribution “Orvincë” by Ollorin Máma (aka Clint)
Orvincë should be pronunced [ɔrˈviŋkɛ] with the stress on the i because it is followed by a constant cluster. Galadriel split into syllables is ga-lad-ri-el and because the second to last syllable ri is light (no diphthong, long vowel or following constant cluster) the stress retracts to the third to last syllable: galAdriel. For a good pronunciation guide for Quenya I would recommend tolklang.quettar.org (of course in conjunction with reading Tolkien's own description in LotR Appendix E).
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birthday
Valin is a word from very early in Tolkien's life that doesn't really hold up in later stages of Quenya because the Valar aren't the "happy ones". I would suggest to derive alassea from alasse and then construct Nai alassea nostarelya "May your birthday be happy" (cf. nai amanya onnalya ter coivierya “*may your (sg.) child be blessed throughout his/her life”).
Allen is Sindarin, len is Quenya, that's why you can't use the former here.
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St Exupery's Quote translation
That already looks quite good! A couple of points though:
- You need to make "grown-ups" and "children" plural: olinwar, híni (usually we would expect *hínar but híni is a special case). Since ilya is an adjective modifying olinwar we need to pluralize it as well: ilye olinwar. In náner you already have the plural agreement.
- As apa already means “after (of time)” and “touching, against, on (above but touching)”, I prefer to use mal for "but".
- tar looks like you intended it as the plural of ta "that", however the form should actually be te "them".
- renie is the gerund "(the action of) remembering". Here you can simply use a normal conjugated verb form ren- > renir or not using a neologism enyal- > enyalir. Then you still need a direct object "remember it" for which I'd suggest sa.
- Your left out "once" and "only" for which I suggest néya, rie.
- optionally you can elide vowels that can't form licit clusters like e-i, e-e (but not e-o which occurs in words like Eonwe) for better flow, compare how lúmenna is elided in elen síla lúmenn' omentielvo.
Ilye olinwar náner néya híni mal rie nótim' imíca t' enyalir sa.
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Contribution “Orvincë” by Ollorin Máma (aka Clint)
Another thing to consider, head tip to Luinyelle: The semantic space is partially occupied by TOL/NDOL- > tolma “protuberance contrived to serve a purpose, knob, short rounded handle”, tolmen “ boss (of shield)”, dolt “round knob, boss”. I think the word can still stand as is, but I wanted to mention that one could potentially write around it with attested words.
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Account “Ollorin Máma (aka Clint)”
Gandalf’s Sindarin name is indeed Mithrandir “grey wanderer/pilgrim”, but in Valinor his Quenya name was Olórin “*dream/vision guy”. His Dwarven name was Tharkûn.