Sentence constructions?

Anwion Mornen has redacted their comment.

Both Quenya and Sindarin are languages with very complex grammar rules, while your translation has sadly nothing that resembles grammar. A dictionary by itself cannot help with a translation, one also needs to have studied grammar with lessons like this. Meanwhile I would have offered a proper translation, but yours is so indecipherable that I will need the English form of what you want to translate.

We would be happy to assist you with this request, especially considering who it is for. ? What is the poem you would like to translate?

Hm, what is the context for the first sentence? Learning to love someone, especially when directly translated into Sindarin, may give the reader the impression that you are not together by choice but by necessity. Due to the rigidity of the verbs for learning in Sindarin, I would recommend a contextual translation instead, like “my love for you will grow” (suggesting that you will love her more the more you are around her) or “my love for you will ever grow.”

Here you are:

Geliathon meled gin. "I will learn to love you."
Gin ethiathon. "I will assist/comfort you."
[...], ci melui. "[Name], you are lovely."
Olathog velethril nîn? "Will you become my lover?"
Ci êl nîn, a [...]! "You are my star, o [Name]!"

I am not sure if it matters for you, but her "picking her own Elvish name" would likely result in a name that is not quite Elvish. As for Aldaleon's suggestion:

*I-veleth nîn *echin ui-'alatha.* "My love for you will ever grow."

Thank you, Elaran! But to my earlier point, please note that the verb *gelia- "to learn" is derived from ÑGOL “knowledge, wisdom, lore.”:

ÑGOL “knowledge, wisdom, lore.” > *gelia- "to learn" > *geliathon "I will learn".

It is of course up to you to decide whether this is the meaning you want to impart with your song.

@Anwion: It looks like your effort did not help with what I meant in any case. I said that the result would likely be not quite Elvish, because Sindarin has at least 140 historical phonetic development rules that affect compounds like names. I will offer some corrections now.

"Atariel" - The rest of the names in your list are in Sindarin but this one is Quenya. If you meant to go for a Sindarin name, it would rather be Adariel.

"Aragwain" - Compare "ar- + gwend = Arwen". This should rather be Arwain/Erwain. Also Tolkien was somewhat unsure about gwain as "blond(e)", and gwain also means "young" with an unrelated etymology.

"Erudil" - The suffix "-dil" is rather "-ndil", which takes different forms depending on the consonant that it follows. In this case it would rather be Erunnil.

"Erumir" - I doubt that it was intentional but shortening "mîr" to "mir" was the right choice, but "-mir" would be "-vir" in this position. So Eruvir.

"Caron" & "Linnor" - You cannot use either of these as a name. Click to read Tolkien's explanation.

"Glimalt/Umalt" - Here the second element "malt" should rather be "valt" but the elements are reversed, so I would rather say Mallim/Mellim or Mallenglim.

In case you are referring to my corrections with "pronunciation rules", what I shared are not the result of pronunciation rules but rather rules about how words interact with each other. And you should not fell like a "noob" because even the advanced folk are rarely familiar with the rules that I mentioned. Hence my whole point that fans (who do not intend to study) should not even bother trying but simply ask for translations.

In that case your translation attempts should have come after your studies.

Thanks for your guys's help, I will read the doc, and refer to it before anymore translation attempts. I will also make sure to run any future attempts by you.

(I'm deleting this thread, I copy and pasted all the relevant info into a doc)

Oh, please do not feel compelled to delete the thread! This will be an interesting read for others who are curious about the subject matter.